Toys

In my living room - not the designated playroom - I have the following large toys:

* blue Cookie Monster singing thing
* pink pony
* bouncing zebra
* supermarket scanner (what one-year does not know how to scan groceries?)
* ball popping thing, ironically, with only one ball
* pink caterpillar singing thing
* LULU, the well worn and loved singing octopus
* a green box of books
* a 31 bag of smaller toys (you know those 31 parties? the biggest, stand-alone bag they sell? that one.)

Of all these toys, I purchased none, registered for none, and most certainly love none. (Maybe LULU and some of the books).

I don't think my kids love these toys. Why do I have these toys?

Here is one situation:

Baby C.J. plays with her zebra, bouncing up and down - giggling, really showing off.

Za wants to play but knows not to take her sister off the zebra. She asks, or whines until I suggest, to get another singing/riding/huge toy. She gets the pink pony from the playroom.

Ty comes along and even though he is older, wants a noisy toy of his own. He settles for the large Cookie Monster monstrosity.

In possible answers to such a situation, do I:

a. Make the kids take turns on the one zebra, even though they are all kinda baby-ish and then feel guilty because the older two want the "oos" and "ahhs" that accompany C.J. bouncing on her zebra.
b. Settle them with a book or smaller toy which they cannot hear because of the zebra.
c. Let them figure it out.

I'm sure all choices bring pros and cons to the parenting bit, but my main concern is this:

I am tired of these toys.

Yeah, I know "someday" I'll look at a clean floor and sigh, knowing my kids are no longer kids.

That day just isn't today, and I wonder if I'm the only one.

I Don't Want To

Me. Not the kids. 

I don't want to make a meal, do the dishes, or wipe off the table.

I don't want to color Santa Claus, discuss when the Easter Bunny returneth, or address accusations concerning our house's lack of fall decor. 

I don't want to make coffee and tough it out. I want a nap. 

I don't want to explain the numbers- teens and twenties. Again. 

I don't want to tear tape, tape, glue, color, sharpen pencils, or fold paper. I don't want to scrub it off the floor or remove it from the table/floor/mantel later. 

I don't want to bathe anyone or wash uniforms. I do not want to iron anything. 

And I don't want to feel guilty about any of it. 

Organized SAHM: Mommy Napping

You can take a nap, but there will be consequences.

Recap: My friend J wrote me an email, asking for advice because she's a new SAHM and wanted advice. This is my third attempt at sharing my wisdom. Previously I've confessed that I lack wisdom, but have a few ideas about saving money in the kitchen. 

But napping - I understand that. Here is what J wrote:

I thought I would have time to clean, to cook, to engage/teach/discipline the children, take a nap, fit in some work, maybe even exercise, and sleep - boy was I wrong!!

My friend J has what I like to call overly high expectations with a combination of supermom-itis and disillusionment. It happens.  

(Let me stop here and explain that this is my experience- I am in no way a trained counselor or therapist or medical person. I have never been diagnosed with ppd and am not an expert on mental health. If you struggle to get out of bed, struggle to stay awake, please speak to a doctor. This post is not for mental health issues). 

Back to napping: napping with a baby curled against your chest, or a sick toddler who needs snuggles; napping after drinking hot chocolate and falling asleep with a book. It's picturesque and romantic. It's what I envisioned when I planned to be a SAHM. 

It's also nonsensical when applied to motherhood.

Cuteness overload: chubby hands attached to a sleeping child. She has dimples on her chubs.

You will have moments of precious napping - staring at chubby fingers and long eyelashes. Kissing cheeks that beg for smooches.

If you fall asleep though, you will have consequences.

For one, you might not be tired later. I am the queen of this: I nap because my eyes cannot stay open at two o'clock in the afternoon, but end up staring at the ceiling at midnight. My kids still wake up at six, and I have created a nasty cycle.

Two, this is prime dinner making time. Throw chicken in the crockpot or defrost a lasagna. Plan something or succumb to the idea that you will serve cereal for dinner. Otherwise you might be making dinner while the kids use you as a jungle gym.

Three, you will be overwhelmed. This partly depends on your personality, but I need alone moments during the day. Do something alone - read a blog, journal, stare out the window. My alone time today might be a shower. I may splurge and shave my legs.

Of course every rule has an exception. If you stayed up late cleaning puke or stripping a wet bed, take a nap. If you have been sick, take a nap. If you have a newborn, please take a nap.

This late-night baby is awake because she and her momma napped at about six o'clock at night. Bad idea. 

Sleeping needs some sort of a schedule in my SAHM life. I am loose with the nap-time of my babies, because that works for me. My older two don't nap, but the baby gets a morning nap and an afternoon nap. If she doesn't, she's grumpy. She can nap at nine in the morning, or eleven.

Like so much with a SAHM life, find out what works for you and your kiddos. I doubt that you will get to nap every day, but you might.

Again, the expectation of what the SAHM thought she could do, is bringing her down. Expectations met with real life?

That is what one Organized SAHM has learned to overcome, to think about.

The Pretend Image of It All

I sit here, melted chocolate chips and peanut butter swirled together, wondering about life.

Sure, it is 11:30 and I need to be in bed. I have a huge day tomorrow. Ty has "meet the teacher night" for first grade. The van needs an alignment. The children will want me to care for them. Here I am though, thinking about SAHM-life.

I got up early today. I cleaned tons of the house - window screens, curtains, vacuumed. I sold some maternity clothes online. Ty and I purchased, labeled, and stuffed a book bag with school supplies. I read books, talked about shapes, and intervened in fights. I also prepared meals and snacks. My kitchen is pretty clean right now.

An overall accomplished day. Why do I feel like I did nothing?

Is it because I don't get a paycheck? Is it because I grew up with an image of Clair Huxtable and Angela Bower? Did I form some weird super-human-mom-worker image in my mind, sometime during my impressionable youth or worse, the inspirational college years?

Where did this image of a mom come from? This mom must be pretend. The mom who comes down the stairs with perfect hair, body, and makeup, grabs a cup of coffee, tousles the kids' hair, kisses her husband, and leaves for work. The mom who has such a high-paying job she can leave for her kids' school activities early and grab dinner on the way home. The mom who stays up late but gets up early and starts all over and still looks great.

It's a bogus image of motherhood. Why do women think that can exist? When does this pretend image exercise? spend time with her husband? do laundry? scrub floors?

I guess she has a maid, or a live-in nanny like Angela.

This pretend image of it all, the image that my fellow moms and I strive for and lament because we can never chase her down, did we make her up? We must have. Can we disregard her? Can we erase this formulation we concocted in our heads?

Can we please just forget her?

Being Nice

The mom, not the kids.

Sometimes they fight. We are into the second week of summer, and I really don't get a break, which is super hard. Ty and Za get along most of the time, but they are little. (I have to tell myself that). They squabble and disagree on what to play, watch, read, where to sit...

They did not sit nicely much longer past the picture. 

And I am the example, the person who needs to be calm. If C.J. dumps out the dog water on an outfit when we are walking out the door or the dog runs away as we are walking out the door (those both happened yesterday and today), I cannot scream. I need to model for my children how to act when something goes amiss.

Because something will always go wrong in life. That's life. I need to explain how I think of a new plan and show them that we can get out the door, maybe just a bit later.

That's my SAHM goal for the week: being nice when things are messy. Being the nice mom who can show them that there are natural consequences for actions, but we can learn from them.

Nicely.

Imitation, It Scares Me

Kids are always learning - and that can stink.

Kids imitate their parents. I've heard little kids (mine included) say a curse word, or a common adult phrase.

Ty is older than Za, and I don't remember him imitating me, maybe because he is a boy. I do remember him wearing golf hats and carrying around a golf ball, trying to be like dad.

From little on, Za wanted to carry a purse. She wanted to put lipstick on with me. She recently added that she wants to be a mommy when she grows up.

That's great, because I have lots of friends who once they got a bit older, realized they did not want to be like their mommies. They didn't have an example, a role model.

I'm glad I can be that for Za. I am not perfect, but I would count myself as a good role model.

To be honest though, that scares me too. Look at her with that grocery cart. The entire time in the store she kept saying, "I'm like mommy. I'm shopping."

Then she showed off exaggerated gestures, and facial expressions over the produce. And those gestures and facial expressions, they are mine.

Even as she put the items on the conveyer belt, she nudged the items along, started putting the frozen together, the cans in a pile. Just. Like. I. Do.

I cannot think about her imitation all the time, because I would lose my mind. I do know that the search for meaning is innate, and that part of kids' search for meaning is through imitation.  I will have to settle for trying to be a good person, a good mother - and admitting my shortcomings with grace and honesty when I'm not.

Your SAHM Office is Your Home

You never leave your office.

In my former life I would leave work thinking, "what the h---- was that. I did nothing today." Of course I had done something. Even if I had not accomplished my goals, I had interacted with students and set an example for them. I presented material, and looking back, some of it had stuck.

I think.

Switching from a teacher to a SAHM, I honestly felt I would have good and bad days. After all, I would be with little students and I knew potential problems. I thought that the two jobs would be similar. I figured whatever struggles I had at work would be gone, leaving fewer struggles.

This is my actual desk - I barely have room to type.

I was wrong. I wasn't wrong because of what I thought, but because of what I ignored: when you work outside the home, you get to leave, to keep work problems at work, and to start fresh the next day.

True, the problems can go home. I brought papers home to grade daily, but I never brought a student home. I brought stress and concerns, but I had means of escape at home.

Your home is your office as a SAHM. And for parents transitioning to a new role, this is a shocker. If your desk is cluttered at work, you may have energy to clean the next day after having a reprieve. If your kitchen is trashed at "work," you will see that mess every stroll through your house.

I also failed to realize that I would have many "desks." I'm in charge, right? The cluttered stairs, playroom, kitchen, living room - it's all my domain. It drives my crazy, because my employees are a tad unpredictable and free spirited.

After acknowledging this, I began making my bedroom my safe haven. I try to keep kid stuff out of it, and my husband's stuff doesn't bother me. If I need to regroup during the day, I escape. I feel better and then I can return to my "desks," a tad recharged.

What works for other SAHMs? Do you have your own place, even if it is only your bedroom?

Organized SAHM: Organizing

When you have kids, organization is a journey - not a finished product.

Back-story: My friend J sent me an email asking questions concerning common SAHM concerns. Her email didn't focus much on organization, but it was an underlying issue. You can read part one and part two to catch up. This post is what I've learned about keeping a home (ahem) organized. 

One time, my home was neat. Dishes placed on clean shelves. Vacuumed carpets. Polished mirrors. The bed was not always made, but a surprise guest didn't phase me. My house was ok.

Note that I said "bed." That is because my husband and I inhabited our home. That's it. Then we brought Ty home from the hospital.

At first our house was spotless from my nesting instincts and we kept it neat with our new little person who did not move around and destroy. I remember that first year with him and thinking that a clean house was manageable. I worked, but he still took naps. I worked, and we could afford a cleaning service periodically. His toys were pretty simple and I kept them in a tiny little container.

The downfall started, slowly. The family took small naps together rather than cleaning. We left a few dishes out. We never caught up on sleep though, and Ty had his own ideas about the house. He had his own room that he threw his toys around while "napping."

Clean and vacuumed carpet. No toys hidden under chairs.

Then we had a series of events that went something like this: Ty learned to walk, Christmas, Ty's first birthday, morning sickness with Za. And it was over. We had a ton of toys, and I was too sick to care or clean.

And I want to tell you the organization situation at my house is better, that I figured it out. I didn't. I won't. The only message I can give other SAHMs crying because their house no longer looks post-wedding-esque is that once I accepted my house was done looking like that for a good twenty years, I felt better.

Feel better, because you are not a magician, you are a parent raising little humans. I know my house will not be organized all at once right now, and I will not have that "finished feeling." I do involve my kids in cleaning though, because:

1. I am not a maid.
2. they made the mess.
3. they have to learn responsibility.
4. like all humans, they like the feeling of accomplishment, or a job well-done.

I make my kids pick up. They bring me their plates when they finish eating. They put toys in boxes. They put books on shelves. They put away crayons. They recycle. My house is still messy though. They are learning to clean, and sometimes when they are learning, I remind myself that learning is messy even if the lesson is about cleaning.

I attempt to organize, a closet or a shelf at a time. Some days I only accomplish going through the mail. I remind myself that they are this small once and tomorrow they will be in college and again, I will return to my house from work, and it will be spotless. 

I chip away at the mess daily, and I do not feel defeated at the end of the day (ok, most days) because I can say, "I accomplished ____ today." Even if it is loading the dishwasher I know that with little kids, tending to their needs is a full-time job, and no matter how boring or discouraging, I will keep at it tomorrow.

My house is not a finished product, an organizational masterpiece. Organization with kids is a journey, a constant process.

That Jealous Feeling

You know how it happens, so simple, doing an innocuous part of your day.

I took Augie (our beagle/pointer/mutt) outside this morning. I was shivering and watching him do his business when a car slowly drove by us. I looked up, only to see a pretty lady applying lipstick with a steady hand and manicured nails. She had on a dress coat. Her hair was stylish. Of course that is all I could see, but I imagined the rest:

She wore pantyhose, a skirt, and high heels. She was on time for work, she was well-rested, and probably had an expensive briefcase on her well-vacuumed seat next to her. Before she went to buy her morning coffee (black, no cream or sugar), she would slip on gloves that matched her coat. She would head to work, have important meetings, and send emails people would hurriedly answer.

Of course this is just my nonsense running away. I don't know this woman.  

I've returned to work and gone back to being a SAHM.I have been in the trenches in both worlds. I accurately can depict the positives and negatives from both experiences. Why, then, do I get jealous when I stand in the front yard, a whole day of snuggling my kids at home unfolding, when I see others going off to work?

I believe the work of a SAHM (or dad) is important. When I taught I saw so many kids who hated to learn, hated to read, hated to study. They had no desire to be a life-long learner - a trait educators will tell you is needed in such a complicated world. I felt the best way to work with my children was to stay home with them. It's been a long, thought out decision!

So why did the woman bother me today?

SAHM successes are important, and their value will show in our children.  (Or at least how we handle our trying experiences).

Organized SAHM: Saving Money In the Kitchen

I still have no idea what I'm doing.

Recap: My friend J wrote me an email, asking for advice because she's a new SAHM and wanted advice. This is my second attempt at sharing my wisdom. Last time I emphasized that I don't have an accurate picture of what I do as a SAHM. Today I emphasize that again, but share what ideas I have acquired about saving money.

A few years ago, I wrote about saving money before you quit your job.  A little after that, I graded myself on saving money as a SAHM, in general. Today, I present some tips on saving money in the kitchen.

1. Think healthy. Chopping fruit and vegetables and making meals from scratch is extra work, but fresh foods are cheaper than packaged or frozen.

2. Think about specials. I still dislike reading the newspaper flyers. What I don't mind is flipping through coupons and sales on my smart phone. My local grocery store has a shopping app, and it shows the current flyer, along with coupons I can add to my shopper's card. I still organize my paper coupons, but this app helps. It even has space for my list. Very convenient - and when I buy specials, often in bulk, I use my deep freezer. 

3. Think combination. Tons of recipes are on the Internet. Most of them are delicious. Most of them also want special spices, and fancy pasta.

My kids, and probably yours, enjoy most dishes with a side of ketchup. Some day you will have time to travel to different grocery stores and discover new spices from other countries. I don't have time now.

What works for me is making one dish, a combination dish. Some kids may not like it, but mine do not mind if I throw peas, noodles, chicken, and cheese all in one casserole. What makes this approach inexpensive is that I  can substitute corn for peas, chicken for turkey. (I also have a hunch this is what leads to beloved family meals that kids come home from college to eat. Let's hope I create one).

4. Think like a school lunch lady. You remember wising up to those school cooks. One day you have "breakfast for lunch" complete with sausage and eggs. Yum. The next day - sausage pizza.

Working all the time, my household once trashed tons of food, mostly leftovers. Use those leftovers. Add cooked vegetables into a cheesy rice dish. Create pulled chicken/ any meat sandwiches. Turn spaghetti meat sauce into the base for a homemade pizza. I do this (at least) twice a week, which means I am not "buying big"- so I'm saving money.

Those are some simple ways that I save money in the kitchen. Any additional tips SAHMs? Share in the comments!

Update! Part Three is up, about organizing time as a SAHM!

Organized SAHM: Part I

I have no idea what I'm doing

My friend J., sweet and caring person she is, sent me and a few other of her mommy friends an email titled "Hey Organized Mamas!"

Let's all pause to laugh at this silly assumption: I have a friend, who knows intimate details of my life, who thinks I am organized. We should assume I'm a stellar actress.

See? Happy children. So happy they won't smile for their mama.

She continues that she wanted to email a few of her friends who "are organized and appear (at least to me) to have it together." I might appear to have it together, but those cohesive moments are rare, and very, very fleeting - and never strung together. Since I have been a SAHM for some time, I'm going to give a bit of advice for other moms joining the gang.

SAHM background

When I started this SAHM gig, it was so I could spend time with my kids. It was so I was not a zombie working all day (as a high school English teacher), grading papers all night, and mothering in-between. Some moms zip from work to home and to daycare and "appear" to have it together. At least their hair is combed. I don't know how people do it. I was a danger to myself, and probably others when I drove. I was that tired. Cutting back on bills and writing on the side, I started staying at home with Ty and Za, and along the way C.J. joined the group.

I started this blog so I wouldn't lose my mind, so I could reflect on my parenting, because that is what I did as a teacher. I also missed teaching and writing was an outlet for that.

Learning with eggs. I will find a way my kids learn with Easter eggs, and I will write about it. :)

I also wrote this information because I found none when I started. Three years ago I google-ed "sahm life" and "sahm schedule." I found nothing but moms squabbling on chat boards about who was a better mama - those at home or those who worked and balanced life. That didn't interest me, and I don't engage in that conversation here. I've been a working (outside the home) and working (inside the home) mom and both are grueling.

You must have learned something

I've created schedules and modified them. I've written lesson plans for my kids and discarded them - completely. I've made considered writing a household schedule.

Organized I'm not, but I do have some ideas that can make a SAHM life easier. I'll try writing them out the next few days, not only for J. but for other beginning SAHM. I'll share what I've learned and I hope it helps someone. I needed help when I started.

I cannot promise organizational bliss. I can't even promise you how many posts will be in this series, but I can tell you I will try. Being a SAHM (or dad!) is deathly hard. They paycheck is not for years to come.

Let me close with this. I did my master's research on organization. Yep, that's right. I studied organization in fifteen year olds. I developed a plan to organize them in a classroom, implemented that plan, and it worked. I have attempted to organize my home and my children. Comparing the success I felt with my teenage students to the success I feel with my toddlers I have learned:

I have no idea what I'm doing.

Part II in this SAHM Organizational Series is up!
So is Part III! 

Busy Year

What a busy year 2012 was!

Ty started kindergarten.

Za started a new preschool.

Baby C.J. was born.

Here's to a new year of teaching and loving our children. I'm so glad I have involved parents to teach alongside me!

Reading Piles

Last night Za and I cleaned up a book mess she made - she pulled out all the books from the bookshelf and put them under and beside the piano. Trying to make them all fit, I stacked the "STEP" books (books that have different levels for different readers - I think every brand has their own label for them). I was sorting, and then I did want to see how many of these STEP books we actually own.

Anyway - I set them off to the side. This morning, Za brought them to me and wanted to read them all. "They are all the same," she said.

So we are reading. We are reading a big pile of books that are all the same size, and it will probably take most of the day.

Our project for the day: reading books and eating jelly toast.

She's thrilled with the project, and so am I.

SAHM successes are important, and their value will show in our children.

Trash for Projects

Here are 7 pieces of trash you should keep for your child's art projects.

Parents post adorable and educational art projects they do at home. When I started staying home with my kids, I looked at these projects with envy. Where did parents get all this fun stuff? Sure, I could find accessories at craft stores, but I didn't have the money. Here is a list of items I've learned not to toss, but to use for educational projects.  

1. Magnets. We have an assortment of magnets that I normally toss. They accumulate from advertisements, parades, "save the date" for weddings, pizza places, etc. I cover them with paper, let the kids make drawing or attach a photograph, and then give as gifts, or keep for myself.

2. Used art projects. All that stuff Ty and Za bring home? I keep it awhile, but then we eventually recycle it (unless it is a loved piece of art). Before you recycle, take the following off: buttons, eyes, yarn, pipe cleaners, and reusable stickers. And use them again.

3. Cards. Birthday, Christmas, Halloween, Easter, invitations, thank-you - I even received a Thanksgiving card once. All these cards have pretty pictures, on card-stock. They are great for starting art projects.

4. Ribbons. These are normally attached to cards, and they work so well on tubes and plates.

5. Paper rolls. A million activities exist. Google "toilet paper rolls."

6. Magazines. Not only do the kids and I read them, we cut pictures and fun-shaped words.

7. Cups and lids. We trace them, identify their shapes, and use them as Frisbees for doll-house people.

What recyclables or trash have you found work for art projects at home?

Five 3-year-old Activities (for when you can't move)

I have been glued to a rocking chair this last month.

I know that moms of more than one child know what I mean: I am limited with my play with Za. Baby C.J. requires lots of feeding, rocking, diaper changing, and repeating. That leaves me with a 3-year-old who needs attention. I would prefer she not spend all day in front of the television.

What works? Here is a quick list of what has helped me occupy my 3-year-old when I am frequently immobile with a newborn.

1. Memory cards. Not the entire game box of cards. I've matched about 10 pairs (20 cards) and we play. She doesn't get frustrated and it is not too many to pick up.

2. Paper and crayons. This is a bit scattered, but not messy. She has several pads of paper and a blue box of crayons. She loves this and draws everyone who visits a portrait.

3. Books. This seems simple, right? Not so much. Za cries if I start reading a book and cannot finish. (Changing diapers and reading - bad combo.). We have a pile of simple books, alphabet and counting mostly, with lots of pictures.

4. Containers. Plastic, mismatched, baskets and cups. She loves them all and builds towers, puts her drawings in them, tells me their shapes, and rearranges them.

5. A doll. Za has a baby as well, which often does what baby C.J. does. We discuss how to handle our babies, which I really think has led Za to empathize with the new baby.

Have a newborn and a toddler? Tips to keep the toddler busy.

These are a few ideas that have really helped me handle my toddler while I take care of a newborn. Any other advice for moms out there?

Announcement Part II

Raising Ty and Za... and...

Baby #3, a few hours old.

Introducing C.J., our third child. She is precious and we are in love.

I'll be on here blogging and updating, but posts will probably be sporadic for some time. I do have some guest bloggers lined up and plan on revisiting some old ideas by adding new ones.

Kindergarten Preparation Activities

 

Ty started kindergarten on Monday. He has a very organized classroom and a teacher that I am excited to work with this year. 

I thought our school and the parent club did a wonderful job getting the class of 2025 (crazy, right?) ready for kindergarten. We had plenty of activities to ease kids into this first year:

* The school hosted a "meet the teacher" night. The kids played outside with the principal while parents met with the classroom teacher.

* The Sunday before school began, parents and students were free to meet on the playground for socialization. Ty's teacher was even there, which was a bonus. Ty also played tag with a group of classmates - and he went to school the next day knowing a few kids in his class.

* The first week of school, the school has invited parents to help with lunch. When I first heard this, I almost dismissed this opportunity. It is a nice one though and I am glad I went Monday - Ty's dad went Tuesday. The kids needed help opening packages, learning where to take empty trays, dump extra milk... every parent who was there had an opportunity to work!

I am lucky we have a school and parent club working to make a smooth transition to kindergarten. Did your school offer such opportunities, or different ones?  

 Intelligences Addressed : bodily- kinesthetic, interpersonal, and intrapersonal. 

Announcement Part I

Today is the last Friday I will ever be pregnant. 

Pretty much the only maternity picture you're going to see.

This third pregnancy has been a countdown for me, in regards to "the final time." (And no, you did not miss a blog announcement. This is it. I'm behind). Growing up, I was surrounded by babies. I am the oldest of ten children, and I remember my mother being pregnant every other year or so. It was such a common part of life that I wondered frequently what pregnancy and newborn-ness would be like: labor, nursing, feeling a baby kick? I knew I would be pregnant some day, but what would it be like? Babies everywhere or not, I think most little girls wonder.

Now I know. And I am tired. I have never enjoyed pregnancy like some women do. Those moms who glow, who have little basketball bellies, they are so cute, so happy.

I'm just not one of them. By the end of my pregnancies, I cannot wear normal shoes and my extra-large maternity clothes get too tight. I drink tons of water, which I'm pretty sure my body stores in my feet and hands, and can't sleep let alone type well. With Ty and Za, I would look at darling pregos and sigh. Even this time, I'm miserable.

I'm also thankful. I know so many women who would do anything (have done everything) to get to this point in pregnancy and have healthy children. I try to look at that perspective. I don't complain on Facebook or my blog because honestly, no one wants to hear it, and I chose this situation. I do appreciate the miracle, the cute little kicks and the heartbeat at the doctor's office. I love my growing child. My hurting body? No.

This time has been different as far as my approach. Unless miracle trumps science, this will absolutely be my final pregnancy. Because I dislike pregnancy, I previously stormed through them. People would ask how far along I was, and I would round up. I was 11 weeks and 1 day?  Sounds like the second trimester. I wanted to speed the process.

My husband's Christmas present. He thought I got him a fancy pen for work. Not quite.

I tried to savor this pregnancy though, even as my ankles turned to cankles. I would pause and think, this is the final time I will take a positive pregnancy test, the final time I get to tell my husband the news, the final time of telling my kids. This is the final time of feeling kicks for the first time, having that first sonogram where you see the blinking heart, texting all your friends that you are pregnant. The final time of having the gender sonogram (where I was dead wrong, for the first time, this final time), and again, sharing that fun news. I've even tried to enjoy lousy finals: last ob appointment, last time laying on my side trying to lower my high blood pressure, peeing in the middle of the night, avoiding raw mushrooms and onions - and my beloved sushi, for - the - final - time. I've counted down the weeks, the days - prepped my house with baby gear, all knowing this was it. I'm ready. This is my final Friday, and when people ask when the baby is coming, I can simply say, "Thursday." I've known this was it for a long time now.

I'm not ready for the finals that are to come, though. That final time I'll feel a baby kick inside me. The final time I'll hold my newborn for the first time. The final lullaby the hospital will play. The final first ride home, and then tons of first finals. To me, the fun finals are coming, and that is sad, in a weird way.

Maybe that's why I procrastinated announcing this baby on my blog - I wanted to save one last fun "final." I'm grateful I am granted these finals, this baby. Three babies to love, to grow, to teach. And that can be my final mindset for this time in my life.

Everyday Creativty: A List

Engaging children creatively teaches multiple skills. 

The start of a picnic.

Sometimes I think I try to "plan" too much with Ty and Za. In the classroom, I definitely need a plan. At home, I don't always need a plan. It helps to say that we will be at the park by 10:30, home for lunch in about an hour, and down for nap shortly after. Arts and crafts, game playing, and pretending, I've found, need less structure.

The famous singer, on stage.

Sure, I give ideas, or mention other fun ideas to try. I also guard their safety. So often though, if I just let my kids go, they just develop great imaginative play.

Za feeding her two dogs.

I got to thinking, what does all this imaginative play do to help children? Teaching language arts to older students, I often find myself wanting them to think more, to be creative. (I want to be more creative in my life, especially with writing). All of this creativity from young kids, what does it teach them?

Creativity and Imaginative Play Teaches...

1. Problem solving. Having a picnic with plastic food, and you forgot dessert? Turn the hotdog into a licorice stick.

2. Connections to other areas. It thrills me when we are playing outside, and while building a house from wood chips, Ty announces that the park's wood chips are actually already a house for bugs.

3. Freedom to experiment. I do not think my children will have great musical talents, but they are free from any pressure to be rock stars, fire people, or sports heroes when they play pretend. Who knows what that can lead to?

4. Learning from mistakes. Sometimes my kids have an elaborate plan, like making an obstacle course or planning a dinner party. They make mistakes, but learn from them without stress, because it is all imaginative play.

Movie stars.

I know there are tons of lists and articles on the Internet pertaining to imaginative play and its benefits, but I didn't even search for them. I am interested in what I found from my parenting experience, and from yours. What do you think creativity teaches kids? What can we add to the list?

Switching Update

It's been three weeks since I switched back to being a teacher in a typical classroom and stopped being a SAHM. I hope the kinks are worked out in schedules and moods. The family had an adjustment period but I am hoping that is over. Smooth sailing, right?

Probably not. I have realized a few things during all these switches. I have learned that some things never change - working, SAHM, alone, with kids in tow. Here is what I know about myself, because some things just don't change:

1. I will never remember my reusable bags for the grocery store. If I do happen to remember them, I will leave them in the car when I go in the store or will have not brought enough. Miraculously if I bring them in the store and have enough, I will have forgotten the plastic bags to recycle. My grocery store trips, no matter how organized I want to be, will be messy.

2. I will never be a morning person. No matter how early I go to bed, I will hit snooze on the alarm clock. It also doesn't matter if small adorable people wake me, or an alarm clock does. I will be fine when I am actually up (and have coffee) but before then, I want to sleep.

Za will always dump out my purse, SAHM or not.

3. I will always read to my kids. If I am very tired from work, I still believe enjoying reading and having strong reading comprehension skills are the foundation for a good education. My voices may not be as enthusiastic as my former SAHM's character interpretations, but I will always read.

4. I will dread messy art projects. When I became a SAHM, I thought surely, I would not mind paint dripped on the floor and glue on the table. I did though, even though art projects were daily at our house. Then when I switched back to work, I thought surely, the kids would do fewer messy art projects and I would not mind picking up every once in awhile. Nope; even though I love my kids being creative and having fun, cleaning up art leftovers will always be a big sigh for me.

5. I will miss my kids like crazy no matter where I am. You know that quote that having kids is like having a part of you walk outside your body forever? That is how I feel. Even when I was a SAHM and went somewhere along, I wondered if they were getting along or having fun. I just think about them, working or not.

As I settle back into a working routine, I see the patterns that make me a mom, working or not. I hope my kids laugh some day that I will remember reusable grocery bags about the time I get out my money to pay or that I am always missing wayward streaks of glue on the kitchen table. It's nice to realize the mom characteristics that are me.