Friday, May 31, 2013

Imitation, It Scares Me

Kids are always learning - and that can stink.

Kids imitate their parents. I've heard little kids (mine included) say a curse word, or a common adult phrase.

Ty is older than Za, and I don't remember him imitating me, maybe because he is a boy. I do remember him wearing golf hats and carrying around a golf ball, trying to be like dad.

From little on, Za wanted to carry a purse. She wanted to put lipstick on with me. She recently added that she wants to be a mommy when she grows up.

That's great, because I have lots of friends who once they got a bit older, realized they did not want to be like their mommies. They didn't have an example, a role model.

I'm glad I can be that for Za. I am not perfect, but I would count myself as a good role model.

To be honest though, that scares me too. Look at her with that grocery cart. The entire time in the store she kept saying, "I'm like mommy. I'm shopping."

Then she showed off exaggerated gestures, and facial expressions over the produce. And those gestures and facial expressions, they are mine.

Even as she put the items on the conveyer belt, she nudged the items along, started putting the frozen together, the cans in a pile. Just. Like. I. Do.

I cannot think about her imitation all the time, because I would lose my mind. I do know that the search for meaning is innate, and that part of kids' search for meaning is through imitation.  I will have to settle for trying to be a good person, a good mother - and admitting my shortcomings with grace and honesty when I'm not.