Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Augie

Augie, my doggie, was my first baby. His first-year scrapbook remains the only one finished from all of my "children." He once snuggled in bed with me. I put ice in his water dish, simply because he liked it that way. He was bathed on a schedule. I bought him doggie treats and toys. He went places with me. I spoiled my cute pound puppy.

Cute mutt.
This situation has drastically changed for little Augie. When we brought Ty home from the hospital, I reluctantly let Augie sniff his head. How could I have changed that much in four days? My change was permanent, in that Augie was moved down on the to-do list. Two years later when Za showed up at home? If he could have, Augie would have rolled his eyes. He knew what this meant: someone new was between him and the top of that list.

He's cute, but he still doesn't belong on the couch.


I still love him and I still take care of him. He is fed, watered, and walked. Sometimes, it is with a frown, without much enthusiasm. My feelings are mixed, ones of loyalty and selfishness; love and exhaustion.

How did it happen that I now view Augie as another being who wants something from me? Someone who I need to take potty, feed, and pet? At the end of the day, after the kids are in bed and I finally sit on the couch without a clang from the kitchen or the "Little Einsteins" theme song blaring, he nuzzles toward me and my arm is heavy as I place it on his head. He needs attention, too. But damn it, I just gave myself away for an entire day. To other people. My little people. I need a break too.

Are you following me on Facebook yet? We are there, simply find Switching Classrooms.

5 comments:

  1. Yes! This happens to me, and, I daresay that it is a thought of almost all mothers. Motherhood is a whirlwind, isn't it? I'd love to say, "Take some time for yourself" but I know that isn't always easy. So I'll just say that yes, this has happened to me, too. (stopping by from weteach)

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  2. Take a deep breath. I know it will sound cliche.... but these days will be forever 'vanished' before you know it.

    Trust me, I'm a gramma now and it's a cliche, because it has so much truth.

    (also stopping by from weteach)

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  3. Yes, I've been there too, but with cats. I had a pair of Persians that I ADORED when I had my son. Somehow, my precious pusses got further and further down the list... I felt so bad about it... I ended up giving them to my father to look after because I was doing such a bad job of it. Feel for you.

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  4. Thanks... it really does make me feel better. I'm looking at Augie now and wondering if he is sad. It makes me sad, I know that.

    I should take into account that the kids play with him now, so he isn't that lonely, I hope!

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  5. My poor doggy is in the same boat. He was my baby. I snuggled and loved and even kissed him every time I saw him until my other three babies came into the picture.
    My feeling became very similar to yours. I don't have the energy or desire to love him that much anymore. He's twelve now and still loves me just as much. Anytime I say his name he comes for love. Dogs are loyal and will adjust. We have to get over the guilt, because we really only have so much energy to give.
    My daughter asked me which kid I loved the most last night. Somehow it's easy to say and know that each kid has absolutely all my love. Every piece of my heart is given to each one. I don't know how that's possible. It isn't the same with my loyal pup though.
    You are not alone. Do what you can. Your dog will always love you.

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