As A Mom, Not Sleeping

Hello 5:30, am. I wish you weren't here. More importantly, I wish you were here but I didn't know about you, which would translate to me being asleep.

Of course, I'm not because Za did not sleep well last night and fussed most of the night and wanted to nurse most of the night which is fine but she wouldn't sleep and nurse, which leads me to wonder if this is really going to be a more common occurrence. I wonder why she cannot sleep and nurse at the same time, which she normally excels at. I wonder if I'm being too tough on her because she is probably going through a growth spurt, teething, or something else that one year olds do. Then I wonder if I am being a softy and should put her in her bed and pat her to sleep. That translates to me getting less sleep than normally, so I don't do that, but I still wonder if I should.

I wonder how I'm going to do today because I actually have to work - outside the home. I wonder if I'll be grouchy or if I'll manage. I have no other choice but to manage, but I wonder if I'll do it well. Probably not.

And, here comes the sun. I wonder if I can get another hour of sleep before the kids are up for good.