Tuesday, September 1, 2009

SAHM Struggle: Going to Bed

I don't know why I thought when I was a SAHM working only quarter time I would have more time. I don't and I don't know what I was thinking.

Ty destroys everything in his path. Yes, that is a cliche and overused, but he does. His entire room is unwalkable. He dumped out all of his toys off his shelves. I can't get into my bedroom from all the clean laundry I washed. I am still trying to get all the tiny baby stuff up to the attic. I am so frustrated and tired and lost. I think my house was this messy when I worked, only I wasn't at home enough to realize it.

I am lost with this SAHM thing and talking to a two year old all day. He repeats everything. I love him to bits, but he will say the same thing over and over and over and over and I want to cry. I talk to him and then he says something and I don't know what he means! I could cry.

Then I feel like I neglect Za. She's so little and well behaved. She's a girl and I worry that she will feel neglect and misbehave. My mind plays an entire awful scenario, all because I am tired and stressed about a messy house. It is ridiculous, I know, but listening patiently to Ty and paying enough attention to Za weigh on my mind.

I'm tired and am now going to bed.

SAHM successes are important, and their value will show in our children.